I run. I die. I go again.

I wake up every morning and fight the monster in my head telling me to get my lazy ass out of bed and hit the track. Each time, I pull the covers back over my head and mumble scream a profound NO. So I look up a bunch of memes about running…

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Then I throw on whatever sweaty clothes from the day before I can find and bolt for the door, knowing “D” hill is out there waiting for me. Each morning is a new encounter. Yesterday was hillbillies. Today I saw more women, but caught the whiff of a creeper creepin’ by trying to scope out his next victim. Jerk. I keep runningIMG_5381. He’s given me the willies (and not the good Willie Nelson kind of willies) ever since I moved here. Something in his demeanor screams he’d roofie you in a bar. Just a small town punk looking for trouble. I briefly entertain the idea of carrying a weapon. I keep moving. Toadies. Dead Sara. Foo Fighters…all helping me charge the constant upwards cross country track which never seems to decline.

My thoughts scatter into a million directions. “I am hungry.” “No I am not.” “I want to throw up.” “Keep running-don’t quit.” “I need to stop talking to myself.” “That shitty incline is coming-don’t sissy out.” “This sucks, I sissy’ed out.” “I can’t feel my legs any more.” “Eye of the Tiger, bitch, don’t you dare quit.” “Why did I just call myself a bitch? That was dumb.” “Great, now I am dumb.”

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It’s a never ending fight with running. I love it. I hate it. But it has been my go to stress reliever, attitude adjuster, and all around bff for over a decade. Quitting smoking has certainly helped make it much easier, but still crazy hard. Then add in some Jillian Michaels 30 day shred and Ballet Beautiful on top of it-and you have created a crazy workout monster. At the end of the incredibly ridiculous fight I have in my head on each run, I cool down, feeling like I just conquered a mountain (I live in mountains-so in reality, I actually did), and pray that some man kitten has broke into the house and cleaned it completely, washed all of the laundry, and made sure my folks and the kids are doing alright.IMG_5383

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